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Jokes
Apr 9, 2007 14:24:34 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on Apr 9, 2007 14:24:34 GMT 10
Every forum should have a jokes thread and we all need a laugh so I thought I'd start it off (in future I'll be putting an adults joke thread too that will be age restricted of course but that's way in the future)
Three little ducks go into a Bar "Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck. "Huey," was the reply. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey. "Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two. "So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked. "Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?" "No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles
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Jokes
Apr 11, 2007 13:45:00 GMT 10
Post by Fae kitty on Apr 11, 2007 13:45:00 GMT 10
;D ;D
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Jokes
Apr 24, 2007 21:01:46 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on Apr 24, 2007 21:01:46 GMT 10
I thought this one was cute...
A man got on a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
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Jokes
Apr 26, 2007 7:55:34 GMT 10
Post by Fae kitty on Apr 26, 2007 7:55:34 GMT 10
;D ;D I like that one...
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Jokes
Apr 26, 2007 10:51:33 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on Apr 26, 2007 10:51:33 GMT 10
;D I love how you put the lookie dude in between the laughing dudes. It looks funny. Man am I entertained easily
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Jokes
Apr 27, 2007 7:55:02 GMT 10
Post by Fae kitty on Apr 27, 2007 7:55:02 GMT 10
lol
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Jokes
May 20, 2007 11:08:04 GMT 10
Post by Angel on May 20, 2007 11:08:04 GMT 10
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Jokes
May 21, 2007 16:17:09 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on May 21, 2007 16:17:09 GMT 10
Hehe... I'll have to keep an eye out for more
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Jokes
May 22, 2007 15:33:10 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on May 22, 2007 15:33:10 GMT 10
Once there was a little boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, ''Mommy, I have to p***.'' The mother said, ''Son don't say p*** in church. Next time you have to p***, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite."
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time and once again he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, ''Daddy I have to whisper.''
The father said, ''OK. Here, whisper in my ear.''
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Jokes
May 24, 2007 1:35:30 GMT 10
Post by ArgyrosfeniX on May 24, 2007 1:35:30 GMT 10
The Most Gruesome Death
'There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in. The first man in line started telling his story, ''Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn't find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am.'' The next man came up and started his story. ''St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought 'Please God spare my life' and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I'm here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me.'' It was now the third guy's turn to start his story. ''Well, Peter, just picture this. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick's refrigerator...'''
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Jokes
May 24, 2007 16:50:54 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on May 24, 2007 16:50:54 GMT 10
;D That's a good one...
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Jokes
May 28, 2007 10:47:02 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on May 28, 2007 10:47:02 GMT 10
This one is a bit cheeky but I figured I could share it with you guys.
A rabbi, a Unitarian Universalist minister, and a Wiccan priestess decided to go on a fishing trip together. They went down to their local lake, rented a boat, and went out on to the lake for a day of fishing.
As the afternoon approached, the trio got hungry and realized that they left their lunches on the shore of the lake.
The minister got out of the boat, walked across the lake, got his lunch, walked back, and sat down to eat his lunch.
"You should have gotten all of our lunches!" scolded the priestess. She then got up, walked across the lake, picked up her lunch as well as the rabbi's, walked back across the lake and sat down, handing the rabbi his afternoon meal.
The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind, his eyes wide with shock. He manages to sputter, "Wha... what... how did you...?"
The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and asks "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?"
The priestess looks at the minister, raises an eyebrow, and replies "What rocks?"
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Jokes
May 28, 2007 19:29:05 GMT 10
Post by ArgyrosfeniX on May 28, 2007 19:29:05 GMT 10
Very nice Bon!
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Picking a Punishment
This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.
So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room".
Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again.
Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes.
So the guy says, "I'll choose this room". Satan says O.K. The guys is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens. Satan pops his head around, and says "O.K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"
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Jokes
May 29, 2007 10:35:12 GMT 10
Post by Ms B. on May 29, 2007 10:35:12 GMT 10
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Jokes
Jun 8, 2007 9:04:58 GMT 10
Post by Fae kitty on Jun 8, 2007 9:04:58 GMT 10
hehe good stuff ;D I heard a funny one the other day but i have to remember how it goes...
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